


sibling relationships

by goodbee



Series: family [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crushes, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Julia Burnsides Lives, Keats, M/M, Many Flashbacks, Minor Violence, Texting, bet you cant guess who THAT tag could POSSIBLY be referring to, i'm going to try to fit so many characters in here wish me luck, it's all in flashbacks though, kravitz and julia work for a funeral home, merle is magnus and taako's adopted dad, sometimes families are great but sometimes they suck: a fic, the red robes are red snuggies, there are warnings in the chapter summaries any time it's gonna be mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-03-04 14:43:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 16,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13366905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodbee/pseuds/goodbee
Summary: taakofromtv: holy shit i just saw the hottest man i have ever seen in my life and he was wearing a lenny kravitz scarf magnus come pick me up i can no longer functionMagnus!!!: What was his name????EarlMerle: Did he look richtaakofromtv: i dont know and yestaakofromtv: but also im not a gold digger merle wtf kind of parent are youEarleMerle: I don’t know how to tell you this but you’re adoptedtaakofromtv: istus help me i don’t know if i can survive another day working with these BUFFOONS----A story of siblings of several varieties.





	1. Chapter 1

_Tres Horny Boys_

 

taakofromtv: holy shit i just saw the hottest man i have ever seen in my life and he was wearing a lenny kravitz scarf magnus come pick me up i can no longer function

 

Magnus!!!: What was his name????

 

EarlMerle: Did he look rich

 

taakofromtv: i dont know and yes

 

taakofromtv: but also im not a gold digger merle wtf kind of parent are you

 

EarleMerle: I don’t know how to tell you this but you’re adopted

 

taakofromtv: istus help me i don’t know if i can survive another day working with these BUFFOONS

 

Magnus!!!: r00d

 

EarlMerle: Is Istus a god now?

 

taakofromtv: actually come pick me up tho mango my heel broke like half a mile away from ango’s school and im not walking all the way to the shop barefoot

 

EarlMerle: Ango and Mango, huh? Very creative

 

taakofromtv: shut up old man

 

Magnus!!!: Shut up old man!

 

Magnus!!!: Dammit

 

taakofromtv: beat you to it ;^)

 

Magnus!!!: Do u want a ride or not

 

taakofromtv: please

 

Magnus!!!: On my way

 

\----

 

Julia Waxmen started laughing the moment her coworker, Kravitz, walked past her desk. Walked may be the wrong word, actually, because he was moving as fast as his long legs would take him without breaking into a sprint, and muttering a muffled “good morning” from within the scarf in which he was burying his face.

  


Julia waited a good three minutes to let him remove the enormous scarf and settle down a little bit before making contact,

 

“Sooo?” she said. Kravitz didn’t make eye contact.

 

“Did you get those papers in to Raven?”

 

“Yes. How was your walk to work, Krav?” Kravitz made a strangled noise.

 

“Hmngfine,” he said.

 

“Cute guy?”

 

“He was the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life,” Kravitz said hopelessly.

 

“So did you talk to him?” Julia asked.

 

“Sort of?”

 

“So no?”

 

“He talked to me.”

 

“Oh! What did he say?”

 

Kravitz blushed a little bit.

 

“Kraaaav.”

 

“‘Goddamn.’”

 

“‘Goddamn,’ or ‘god DAMN’?”

 

“The second one.”

 

Julia burst out laughing. Kravitz hid his face in his hands.

 

“Krav, that’s good! He thought you were cute, too! Scarf and all!”

 

“I guess, but I’ll never see him again. It’s a big city.”

 

“Well, what’d he look like? I’ll keep an eye out.”

 

“Fucking- gorgeous. Tall, dark skin… _interesting_ fashion sense, he was only wearing one shoe for some reason? And he had a wizard hat in his hands.”

 

“Wait, really?”

 

“Yeees?”

 

“Did he have a weird accent and endearing gap between his teeth?”

 

“Definite yes on the accent, maybe on the teeth? Do you know him?”

 

“That sounds like Taako!”

 

“Taako- your fiance’s brother?”

 

“Yeah! Well, adoptive brother, they don’t look anything alike. Hold on,” Julia said, whipping out her phone and quickly typing something while Kravitz looked on questioningly. After a moment, Julia handed her phone to Kravitz, displaying a fuzzy picture of a stunning man in a wizard hat sitting in what looked like the passenger seat of a car and flipping off the camera. “I had Maggie take a picture… apparently he was driving, idiot, but he took it anyway, so it’s kind of blurry.”

 

Kravitz cradled the phone in his hands, inspecting every inch of the picture, before handing it back to Julia with a bewildered nod.

 

“That’s him.”

 

“Hell yeah! You’re gonna be my brother in law!”

 

“Isn’t that thinking a little too far ahead?”

 

“Nah. I’ve got a feeling.”


	2. Chapter 2

Magnus kicked open the door to Larkspur Flowers ,  holding Taako bridal-style (at Taako’s own insistence, he wasn’t walking anywhere until he had two operational shoes), hardly even waiting until he stepped into the shop to shout,

 

“MERLE GUESS WHAT!”

 

Merle looked up from trying to untangle his beard at Magnus and Taako and laughed.

 

“You two idiots look like a couple a’ newlyweds. Julia’s gonna be jealous.”

 

“Shut up and guess what, Merle,” Magnus said, crossing the room and setting Taako down on the counter.

 

“Fine. What?”

 

“Jules-” Magnus started.

 

“The hot Lenny Kravitz scarf guy I ran into works with Julia and, better yet,  _ his name is Kravitz, _ ” Taako interrupted.

 

“Does he always wear a whole blanket for a scarf?” Merle asked.

 

Magnus and Taako both shrugged.

 

“Eh, doesn’t matter. Point is. Hot guy. Cha’boy got his digits. Istus bless Julia.”

 

“Why is Istus god? Did I miss some joke here?” Merle asked.

 

“Nah, I just think it’s funny.”

 

“Whatever. Just don’t be on your phone texting that damn boy instead of workin’ all day, or I’ll ground you like the good ol’ days,” Merle said. Taako stuck his tongue out at him.

 

\----

 

Unknown Number: hey is this kravitz????

 

TDH: Yes, who is this?

 

Unknown number: the dude with the wizard hat from this morning. my name’s taako, julia gave me ur number

 

TDH: Oh! She didn’t tell me she gave you my number.

 

Kravitz shot Julia a glare. 

 

“You’re welcome!” she said.

 

TDH: It’s nice to hear from you, I assumed we’d never see each other again.

 

Taako: yeah, weird that we both know jules

 

Taako: oh my god my merle is stroking a plant in a way that’s somehow nsfw oh my god?

 

Kravitz looked at his phone for a moment, puzzled, before laughing and starting to type again.

 

TDH: I have absolutely no idea what to say to that. Who’s Merle and is there any chance he’s a cat or something?

 

Taako: hoo boy i fuckin wish

 

Taako: he’s kinda my dad

 

Taako sent a photo of a stout old man looking at a hydrangea with bedroom eyes, and Kravitz was torn between laughing and washing his eyes out with bleach.

 

TDH: Oh my god I am so sorry for you

 

TDH: Wait, are you at Larkspur Flowers?

 

Taako: oh yeah, that’s where i’m working at this particular moment

 

Taako: i need to get out though, i’ll die if i have to keep working with merle n magnus for much longer

 

TDH: It’s such a strange coincidence that you work for Istus, she’s a close friend of mine.

 

Taako: oh yeah julia mentioned that ur like basically raven’s son

 

Taako: honestly how have we not met before today?

 

Taako: wait more important question

 

Taako: did istus make you the lenny kravitz scarf you were wearing earlier

 

Taako: she did didn’t she oh my god

 

TDH: Yes, she did.

 

Taako: that explains why you were wearing it in public, ur mom’s wife made it for you

 

Taako: i mean don’t get me wrong you looked hot 

 

Taako: it was just a 

 

Taako: a bold fashion choice

 

TDH: It’s cold out! The scarf is warm!

 

TDH: Wait did you just call me hot

 

Taako: literally the first thing i ever said to you was godDAMN obv ur hot my dude

 

Taako: like, almost as hot as me

 

Taako: is this news to you do you not own a mirror

 

TDH: I just haven’t been

 

TDH: Flirted with?

 

TDH: In quite some time.

 

Taako: prob bc you dress like lenny kravitz died and is now the grim reaper

 

TDH: I do work in a funeral home.

 

Taako: so does julia, doesn’t stop her from being a literal ray of sunshine

 

TDH: She hasn’t worked here as long as I have. It’ll get to her eventually. Being around dead people every day isn’t generally a recipe for an upbeat outlook.

 

Taako: idk man jules might be immune to sadness

 

Taako: how long have you worked there?

 

TDH: Since I was 18.

 

Taako: dang, no wonder you look like the grim reaper

 

Taako: just that eager to live your death kink, huh?

 

TDH: I cannot stress enough that I don’t have a death kink.

 

Taako: it’s ok man no judgement here

 

TDH: Raven just offered me a job and a place to stay, and I never left. I went to school to be a conductor, but that was never realistic.

 

Taako: i sense a tragic backstory

 

TDH: Perhaps that should be saved for at least the second date.

 

Taako: are you implying there’s going to be a first date?

 

TDH: What, you don’t consider two people exchanging one word on the sidewalk while one of them only has one shoe and a wizard hat and the other is wearing a Lenny Kravitz scarf to be a date?

 

Taako: ok i can explain

 

Taako: 1. my heel broke

 

Taako: 2. the kid who broke into my house a while ago and never left was having a bad day so i wore my wizard hat while i walked him to school because he has a matching one and it always gives him confidence for some reason, the little weirdo

 

TDH: You have a son?

 

Taako: yeah

 

TDH: What’s his name?

 

Taako: angus. 

 

Taako: not to brag but he’s the smartest kid in the universe 

 

\----

 

Kravitz and Taako went on texting for hours. Taako, for all his nonchalance, could talk about his son endlessly. Kravitz had his own dry humor that made Taako laugh out loud more than once.

 

Neither of them got very much work done that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> other characters will get more screen time i promise :^)


	3. Chapter 3

Merle Highchurch trudged into work late, holding a Starbucks drink that was larger than his head and had enough sugar to give anyone who got within a 15-foot radius a toothache, plopped himself down on the stool behind the counter, and groaned.

 

Magnus looked up from sweeping the floor.

 

“Bad morning?”

 

“Landlord.”

 

“He finally weighing you down?”

 

“No! … yeah, little bit,” Merle said, taking a swig of his coffee.

 

“You should just move, this is getting kind of stupid.”

 

“Pfft, nah. I think I’m wearing ol’ Johnnyboy down. Just give it a month and he’ll give up.”

 

“Sounds like he’s wearing you down, Merle.”

 

“Naaah. Hey, where’s Taako?”

 

“Having a conference with Angus’s teacher, I think.”

 

“Oh. Do you have that guy’s phone number? The guy Taako’s been talkin’ to for the past few weeks?”

 

“Kravitz?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Sure, why?”

 

Merle winked, and Magnus looked at him skeptically, but texted him Kravitz’s number.

 

\----

 

Kravitz was filling out paperwork when his phone started to ring. He ignored it, because no one answers unknown number calls, and a moment later, a voicemail started to play.

 

“Hey, this is Merle Highchurch-”

 

Kravitz missed a few seconds of the message, too busy trying to get the picture of Merle looking amorously at hydrangeas that Taako sent him out if his head, before tuning back in, only to hear a different voice over the phone.

 

“Merle, I don’t think Taako will-” the gruff, masculine voice said.

 

“Ah, screw Taako! If we leave him to his own devices, we’ll never meet this guy. Anyway, Kravitz. 7 o’clock, Saturday, 8640 South Sycamore.”

 

There was a beep, and the message was over. Kravitz just looked at his phone, unsure of what to do, until Julia walked up.

 

“Was that Magnus?” she asked.

 

“Um, maybe? I mean, he said his name was Merle, but there was another guy on the line, too.”

 

“Yeah, sounded like Mags. So are you going?”

 

“I’m not… entirely sure what I was invited to? I zoned out a bit at the beginning there.”

 

“Bi-weekly family game night, you dingus. I’ll be there, you should come!”

 

“ _ Family _ game night? Why am I being invited?”

 

“Their definition of family is…  _ broader _ than most people’s. They’ve got a lot of honorary family members. But I don’t even think Dav is coming this time, so it’ll be smaller than usual. Perfect time for you to come!”

 

“I… okay, I guess?”

 

“Good!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long for such a short chapter, i literally just forgot to post it  
> like, the next chapter is about halfway done already, i just completely forgot to put this one up. whoops


	4. Chapter 4

Taako walked into his living room to see his son already sitting on the couch, hurrying to tie his shoes. Angus McDonald-Taaco looked up at his adoptive father with a serious expression.

“What’s on your mind, Ango?”

“Why would Grandpa Merle ask to host Bi-Weekly Family Game Night at his apartment when his landlord is already angry with him? We can get kind of rowdy, wouldn’t it make more sense to go to uncle Magnus and Miss Julia’s house like normal?”

Taako shrugged. “You can ask Merle when we get there. Or sleuth it out. My guess is that Merle just wants to piss the dude off.”

“Hmm.”

Taako took Angus’s hand and walked him out of the apartment building and up to the car waiting outfront.

Angus slid into the backseat, giving a cheerful “Hello, sir!” to the nerdy-looking man already there with a mysterious box containing mysterious contents, as Taako sat shotgun.

“How’re my favoritest nephew and brother doin?”

“I’m doing really well, Aunt Lup, how are you?”

“Pretty dang good, with all my favorite people in my car. And Taako,” Lup said. Taako stuck his tongue out at her.

“Hey, Taako, do you have the glasses I left at your place?” asked the guy sitting by Angus.

“Here ya go, Barold, you fuckin nerd,” Taako said, tossing the glasses into the backseat, prompting Barry to fumble to catch them and clutch them protectively to his chest.

“Lulu, when we were little, you swore you’d never marry a man with nerd glasses. You swore on your life,” Taako said.

“Then I guess you’ll have to kill me, Koko.”

“You could divorce him, save your honor.”

“Uncle Barry could get contacts!” Angus interjected.

“Do I get a say?” Barry asked.

“Of course not,” Lup and Taako answered in unison. Barry sighed and smiled.

\----

Kravitz didn’t quite know what he was expecting when he walked up to Merle’s apartment, but it wasn’t an open door looking into a nearly empty room. He cautiously looked in, knocking on the open door. A vaguely familiar voice that could only be that of Merle Highchurch himself called out, saying,

“Come on in! It’s Kravitz, right? You’re right on time, take a seat by Lucretia over there.”

Kravitz walked in and looked around, seeing a rather serious and distinguished-looking woman sitting on the floor, holding a mug of something in her hand, and wearing an old, crimson snuggie. She gave Kravitz a soft smile and patted the floor beside her.

“I’m Lucretia. You’re Kravitz, I gather?”

Kravitz returned her smile and sat next to her, holding out his hand, which she shook.

“That’s me, nice to meet you. Are we early?”

Lucretia shook her head. “Everyone else is late. Taako doesn’t have a car right now, so Lup and Barry are picking up him and Angus, and none of them - except maybe Angus - could be trusted to keep track of time to save their lives, and Magnus and Julia got caught up picking up the pizza. Everyone should be here shortly.” Kravitz nodded. Merle stepped into the living room with a couple of mugs. He handed one to Lucretia, taking her old one, and looked to Kravitz.

“You drink tea?”

“Yes, I do.”

Merle handed him a cup and sat down on the floor across the coffee table from him, looking him over scrutinizingly. Kravitz nervously sipped his tea. Merle smiled, and there was the sound of the front door being swung shut, immediately followed by a bang as the door was kicked open. Merle sighed.

“Merle, is your oven working yet?” an almost-familiar voice said. It took Kravitz a second to piece together that it must be the voice of Taako’s sister, who he’s mentioned a couple of times.

“Yeah, do you have to kick down the door every time?”

“I didn’t kick it _down_.”

“This time!”

Taako piped up from behind his sister, “Does tradition mean nothing to you, old man?”

“I ain’t that old yet. What are you guys doin’ still standin’ in my doorway? Get your asses in here!”

There was the sound of a snicker followed by what sounded like something heavy being plopped on the kitchen counter, and a little boy came running excitedly into the room, only to stop dead at the sight of Kravitz. Kravitz offered a tiny wave, but the boy still looked more than a little bit intimidated.

“What’s wrong, pumpkin-” Taako started, walking up behind his son and catching sight of Kravitz himself. “Oh! Krav! Agnes, this is Kravitz, I think I’ve mentioned him to you before. He looks scary but I’m pretty sure he’s a dork,” he said, as Lucretia surreptitiously scooched away to make room on the floor next to Kravitz. Taako took the hint and sat, patting the floor for Angus to sit next to him.

“Not that it’s not good to see you or anything, Kravitz, but what are you doing here?”

“Merle invited me. He didn’t tell you?”

Taako shot a glare at Merle, who shrugged. Kravitz took that as a no.

“I can leave, if you want-”

“No! No, it’s fine, I just wish I had a bit of warning so I could’ve worn something nicer,” Taako muttered. Kravitz laughed.

“You look fine.”

“Fine or fine?” asked Lup. Kravitz did a double take as the woman speaking walked into the room carrying a large bundle of fuzzy red fabric; if he didn’t know better, he genuinely would’ve thought she was another Taako. She laughed.

“I know that expression,” she said, dropping the mountain of red on Angus, who immediately started digging through the pile. She leaned over her brother and nephew and held out her hand for Kravitz to shake. “I’m Lup, the prettier Taako.”

Kravitz shook her hand. “Kravitz.”

“Oh, I know, Taako has-” she said, and Taako shoved her away with a huff.

“Get away from my man with your lies and slander,” he said, elegantly reaching into the fuzzy mound on Angus’s lap and pulling out - a snuggie? Come to think of it, it was the same color as Lucretia’s. Angus was fumbling to put his on, and Lup had pulled the remaining two away from Angus and was busy sliding one on.

“Can I ask about the snuggies?” Kravitz said.

“The snuggies are sacred, my dude,” Taako said.

“The original seven of us have been wearing them since Game Night numero uno, back before Ango was even a thought in our minds,” Lup continued, with a reverent tone.

“Who are the original seven?” Kravitz asked, intrigued.

Angus piped up enthusiastically, any apprehension toward Kravitz seemingly forgotten, saying, “Taako, Aunt Lup, Uncle Barry, Grandpa Merle, Uncle Magnus, Miss Lucretia, and Mr. Davenport!”

“Speaking of Barry, where did he go? Didn’t he come in with you?” Lucretia asked.

“I’m here!” a somewhat stocky, bluejean’d man who was apparently named Barry said, walking in and sitting next to Lup. “Lup parked like a maniac, I just wanted to fix it before we got towed. Is this Kravitz?”

“That’s me,” Kravitz said. Barry waved awkwardly.

“Barry Bluejeans.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 gave me a buncha trouble w this one hoo boy


	5. Chapter 5

Thank goodness that a burly man that Kravitz recognized from the picture on Julia’s desk as Magnus Burnsides barged in bellowing “WE BROUGHT PIZZA”, because if he hadn’t, Kravitz not have been able to stop himself from laughing at the absurdity of the name “Barry Bluejeans”.

 

“Sorry we’re late! The Domino’s on Cedar was closed,” Julia said. “Kravitz! You came!”

 

“Did everyone know he was coming except me?” Taako grumbled.

 

“I didn’t know!” Angus said, and Taako sighed, but laughed. 

 

\----

 

Pizza was eaten, games were played, and the Taaco-McDonald-Highchurch-Burnsides-Bluejeans-whatever family was sitting around Merle’s coffee table telling stories while Lup and Taako worked on some presumably food-based surprise in the kitchen. 

 

If Kravitz had felt out of place at first, the feeling was completely gone. These people seemed to have no concept of how to treat someone they just met, because they seemed to have just about accepted him as part of the family. He had gotten four hugs already, two of which were from Magnus. Kravitz didn’t have a red snuggie like the rest of them, but then neither did Julia. (She said she had a sneaking suspicion that one would be included in her wedding gifts, though.)

 

In the middle of a story Barry was telling about Lup’s college shenanigans - every time something caught on fire, Magnus and Lucretia were taking shots of something and Kravitz was honestly not sure whether it was alcohol or not - there was a curt knock on the door.

 

Merle grinned and everyone looked at him, confused. Well, everyone except Lucretia, who sipped her nearly-empty-and-probably-cold mug of tea in a very “that’s none of my business” fashion. Lup shouted “Taako’ll get it!” from the kitchen, which was followed by a grumble and Taako trudging up to the door. Angus shot up from his seat and followed his dad, curious as to who would be here, and why Merle seemed so excited.

 

\----

 

John was a practical man with reasonable desires. He had never been one to care much about other people, as long as they stayed in their lane. And he refused to believe that any of that had changed. He was only going to Merle’s apartment because he was being loud and disruptive - it sounded like he had the TV on at an absurd volume, judging by all the different voices and laughter John could hear faintly from down the hall. As landlord, it was John’s whole job to stop people from bothering the rest of the building. Sure, he and Merle had talked a few times, played a few games of chess, but only to discuss Merle’s consistent rule breaking. (Which, coincidentally, John had never actually penalized him for, but, well. John ignored that bit.)

 

If John didn’t know better, he would say that Fate had a grudge against him, because when Merle’s door swung open, there was no stout, cheerful older man waiting to greet him. In fact, it was just the opposite; in front of him stood a tall, thin, and mildly grumpy-looking young man in a red robe and apron with a little similarly-outfitted (minus the apron) boy peering out from behind the man’s legs. John thought he vaguely recognized the pair - it wasn’t unlikely, as Merle’s walls were covered in photos of people - but he couldn’t place it. He frowned.

 

“Hello, I was just looking for Mr. Highchurch-”

 

“Merle, some old dude’s at the door!” the man called into the living room.

 

“Well, what’re you waitin’ for, let him in!” Merle shouted back.

 

The tall man opened the door wide and gestured for John to enter, the little boy watching curiously the whole time. John hesitated, but cautiously stepped in, turning the corner into the living room and pausing to take in the sight before him. 

 

Six grown-ass adults were congregated on the floor around Merle’s coffee table, surrounded by empty pizza boxes. All but two of them were wearing red snuggies, and there was the distinct aroma of something baking in the air. It felt like some bizarre twelve-year-old’s birthday party. 

 

Merle waved John over and patted the floor next to himself. John was too dumbstruck to refuse and sat down, folding his lanky limbs to fit in the least amount of space possible, giving himself a solid inch of personal space between himself, Merle, and the burly man next to him.. Merle, ignoring John’s carefully crafted bubble, slung his arm around John.

 

“You’re just in time, Lup and Taako’s macaroons-”

 

“Macarons!” a feminine voice interjected from the direction of the kitchen.

 

“-should be done soon. Anyway, let’s introduce ya to everyone! Everybody, this is John.”

 

The massive, hairy, bear of man sitting next to John raised his hand.

 

“Yes, Magnus?”

 

“Isn’t that the landlord that you hate?”

 

“Now, I don’t  _ hate _ him-”

 

“If I may, sirs?” the little boy said, politely.

 

“Go ahead, D’jangus. Tell us what you’ve deduced,” Magnus said, lifting the kid up and setting him down on his knee. The boy cleared his throat and opened his notebook.

 

“I was wondering why Grandpa Merle wanted to have Game Night here instead of at your house like usual, Uncle Magnus, or Uncle Barry and Aunt Lup’s. Judging from the available evidence, I think that Grandpa Merle fully planned to invite John in when he invited us over, and invited Mr. Kravitz as a distraction so that no one would wonder why we were meeting somewhere so out of the ordinary. Am I right, Grandpa sir?”

 

Merle blinked at the kid, and laughed. “Damn, that’s right, Angus. And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kid!” Merle reached out his arms, and Angus was passed directly over John and into Merle’s lap, where he gave him a solid tickling. 

 

The tall man who let John in peaked his head in from the kitchen, a piping bag in his hand. “Is someone torturing my kid? I swear, that shreiking is fuckin’  _ inhuman. _ ”

 

“Taako, get yer sister in here and introduce yourselves,” Merle said. 

 

Taako turned and yelled, “Lulu! Get your in here, those macarons need a hot second to cool!”

 

John faintly heard a raspberry being blown, and a woman who looked almost exactly like Taako - presumably Taako’s sister - stepped through the doorway, ushering her brother in and sitting down next to a man in glasses and blue jeans. Taako sat next to the well-dressed and un-snuggied man directly opposite John.

 

“Well, everybody go around and introduce your sorry selves!”

 

John learned that the pretty woman next to Magnus was his fiancée, Julia. The man in glasses was Barry, Taako’s sister was named Lup, and they were married. The man Taako was sitting next to politely introduced himself as the aforementioned Kravitz, and the quiet woman was Lucretia. 

 

John didn’t see why Merle would think he would fit in with this motley crew, but he didn’t get up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> john! he's one of my favs, i couldn't make myself leave him out


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some o that good good taakitz

By the time everyone had finished their macarons (which were proclaimed by Magnus to be “the best fuckignh cookies” he’d ever had), it was well past midnight, Angus was starting to fall asleep on Julia, and the party was winding down.

“I think we should go, Lulu, it’s way Angles’s bedtime,” Taako said.

“Yeah, about that,” Lup said. Taako arched his eyebrow incredulously. “Barold and I have to go by the school to pick some stuff up, it’ll probably take like, and hour,” she said, nudging Barry, who looked asleep. “Right, babe?”

“Huh? Uhm, yeah, what Lup said,” Barry mumbled. 

“Julia and I can give you guys a ride, Taako, it’s no prob-” Magnus started, but Lup interrupted him.

“How about you ask Kravitz for a ride? I saw his car outside, it seemed pretty niice.”

Taako gave Lup a look, but she stared him down. He sighed and turned to Kravitz.

“Of course,” Kravitz said, kindly. Taako stood and scooped up Angus. 

“Let’s go, then,” Taako said quietly, shooting Lup a small glare (which was met with an innocent smile and a “have a good night!) and walking out the door. 

Kravitz, ever the gentleman, opened the door to the backseat and helped Taako buckle Angus up, and even went so far as to open the passenger door for Taako.

Taako gave Kravitz his address and they drove off. 

Kravitz frowned as he did some mental calculations.

“You-” Kravitz stopped himself and tried again, quieter, so as not to wake Angus up. “You live really far away from the flower shop. You walk there every day?”

Taako looked a little bit surprised at the question. “Yeah, why? I mean, don’t you walk to work, too? We met on the sidewalk.”

“I walk occasionally, but I only live a few blocks away from the funeral home. Do you walk Angus to school, too?”

“Yeah. I have some rad thighs, my dude.”

Kravitz laughed under his breath. “I believe you. Do you - I mean, I don’t know when your work day starts-”

“9:30.”

“Do you want me to give you a ride in the mornings? I could pick you up by Angus’s school, probably - he goes to Refuge, right? It wouldn’t be too far out of my way, and it would save you a lot of walking.”

“Uh, nah, it’s cool, homie, you don’t have to-”

“I don’t mind.”

“Oh. Well. Okay, sure, until I get a car. Thanks.”

“Of course,” Kravitz said, with a smile.

\----

Kravitz helped Taako carry Angus all the way up to their apartment and even going so far as to pull back the comforter on Angus’s bed so Taako could set him down.

When Angus was all tucked in and snug, Kravitz and Taako walked wordlessly over to Taako’s front door. As Kravitz walked out, he paused and smiled. 

“Hey, Taako?”

“What’s up, homie?”

“Does this count as our second date?”

Taako stifled a laugh and closed his eyes, pondering.

“Hmm. I dunno. By our standards… Yeah, probably,” he said, and he leaned forward and kissed Kravitz’s cheek.

Kravitz was still recovering when Taako laughed.

“Damn, you’re cold as shit! Are you dead? Holy shit, you’re the grim reaper, I fuckin’ knew it.”

Kravitz stared for a beat, and laughed as well.

“If I’m the grim reaper, then you’re a wizard, because you’ve been simply magical,” Kravitz said, taking Taako’s hand and kissing it gently.

“I’m not sure whether to swoon or throw up, that was so cheesy. Get outta my house, cha boy needs his beauty sleep,” Taako said, grinning. Kravitz gave him one last soft smile and left, closing the door behind him and whistling cheerfully all the way to his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some o that good good taakitz


	7. Chapter 7

Istus was a firm believer in fate. She believed that everything happened for a reason, just as it was supposed to. Taako’s car broke down and he didn’t have the money for a new one? Well, Kravitz has been giving him rides to work for a month now, so that worked out.

 

Istus believed in fate, and she held tightly to this belief as she stood in front of the smoldering remains of her flower shop. 

 

This was hardly a problem for her, practically; her wife was more than capable of supporting the both of them, and the flower shop generated virtually no income for Istus anyway, due to the fairly generous wages she paid her employees.

 

Generous wages that they wouldn’t be able to earn without a store to work in.

 

\----

 

Magnus walked to work with Julia every day. Some days, he brought their dog, Johann (who he had named after their musician friend to give him a little publicity if anyone asked about the dog’s name. People rarely did, but Magnus tended to explain, anyway). But today, he sat at home, alone. He had just woke up when he got the call from Istus.

 

He would be okay. Julia still had her job, and Magnus could use the extra time to do more carpentry, maybe make that into his full-time job. Magnus was more worried about Merle and Taako. He called them over to try and figure out what to do.

 

\----

 

Merle was honestly more bothered by all the flowers destroyed in the fire than anything. Gross.

 

\----

 

Taako didn’t want to go to Magnus’s. He wanted to take Angus to school and drive to work with Kravitz. He didn’t want worried looks and Lup or Barry or Lucretia or Davenport calling to offer him money. 

 

But Magnus was going to come over to Taako’s if Taako didn’t go over there, and then Angus would know he was there because Angus is a fuckin’ genius, so Taako really had to accept. 

 

Taako reached for his phone to text Kravitz, but as soon as he unlocked it, Kravitz called.

 

“Taako, I heard about the store. Are you alright?”

 

“Yeah, homes, I’m fine. I was just about to text you to say our morning rides might be put on hold for a bit, actually.”

 

Kravitz let out a small, breathy laugh.

 

“Yeah, I assumed. I’m glad you’re okay.”

 

“No one was even in the building. Unless you’re as sad about the dead hydrangeas as Merle is, you got nothing to worry about.”

 

“Ew, no, I’m just. Really glad you’re okay. I’m glad you’re okay,” Kravitz repeated. Taako raised an eyebrow (not that Kravitz could see it, but. Still.)

 

“Yeah, we’re all glad, it’d be hella tragic if the world had to lose Taako before his time. I gotta go, babe, gotta get Agnes ready for school. See you around.”

 

“See you, Taako.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now we're gettin Into It, fools


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief interlude.
> 
> (brief mention of sazed having a relationship w taako in this chapter btw)

Taako sat on his sister’s bed, fidgeting with an umbrella in his hands. He was twenty years old, and he  _ missed _ her. He had missed her for so long.

 

Twelve years. It’d been twelve years. He was afraid that if they didn’t have the same face, he would’ve forgotten hers.

 

\----

 

Taako was eight, and his sister never came back. He heard police sirens, and he ran.

 

\----

 

“Taako, do you want to get a haircut?”

 

Taako was nine, and he refused. He couldn’t cut his hair, because if he cut his hair, then he wouldn’t be able to see his sister when he looked in the mirror. 

 

\----

 

Taako was twelve, and he had a list.

 

THINGS LUP  ~~ LOVES ~~ LOVED?

\- Fire

\- Red

\- Cooking

\- Auntie’s turkey (what was the recipe?)

\- Auntie

\- Science

\- Long hair

\- Snow

\- Peanuts (ew)

\- Playing in mud

\- Big houses

\- Pool

\- Pool s

\- Her brother

 

\----

 

Taako was fifteen, and he hated school. He hated how people made him feel. He hated that he chewed on his hair when he was afraid. He hated how he was afraid so often. 

 

He wanted to be on the road again, he wanted to be with Lup. She wouldn’t make him go to school. If she did, she’d stay with him, and she’d punch anyone who thought his hair was too long or his hands were too shaky. 

 

Magnus offered, but Taako didn’t take it. Magnus wasn’t Lup.

 

\----

 

Taako was sixteen. He cut his hair short, and he didn’t cry.

 

\----

 

Taako was seventeen, and he had a boyfriend. Sazed loved him.

 

\----

 

Taako was eighteen, and Sazed didn’t love him, because how could Sazed love someone whose school bake sale cookies sent forty people to the hospital and led to the death of two of them?

 

\----

 

Taako was nineteen, and he thought he wanted to make his own way, but he transferred to the school Magnus went to after a semester.

 

\----

 

Taako was nineteen-and-a-half, and a guy in blue jeans and glasses called him the wrong name.

 

\----

 

Lup was eight, and she was lost. She told her brother that she’d be back soon, but it was raining so hard and she was on a street she didn’t recognize.

 

And then she saw Lucretia, sitting on her porch and watching the rain. Lucretia had been a friend to Lup and Taako - she helped them find food a couple of times, and was never mean or rude. Even Taako trusted her.

 

“Lup? Lup, is that you?”

 

“Lucy! I’m lost, can you-”

 

“Come inside, Lup, you can dry off real fast. My mom won’t mind.”

 

Lup stood in the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel. When she came out, there was a woman there with a phone in her hand. Lucretia told Lup that her mom was calling the police, and that Lup wouldn’t have to live on the streets anymore. Lup asked for her brother, then screamed for her brother, and she bit the “nice policeman” until he agreed to go look for Taako. But Taako was gone.

 

\----

 

Lup and Taako were twenty, and they sat on Lup’s bed, just looking at each other. They had explained what happened, and neither of them seemed to know what else to say.

 

“Taako-”

 

“How are you friends with Lucretia?”

 

“What?” Lup looked taken aback. Her and Lucretia had reunited later in high school and decided to go to college together, they were incredibly close.

 

“She- without her, we would’ve grown up together, Lup.”

 

“She was trying to help, Koko. She did her best. We were little.”

 

Taako didn’t say anything. Lup held him in her arms, and they both pretended not to cry, and Lup never mentioned how Taako clung onto her like she would disappear.

 

\----

 

Taako was older now, and his work burned down. He kept his cool through dropping off his kid at school, and joked hollowly with his adoptive father and brother for a little over an hour, only collapsing when he was safely inside his home. He sat on the floor in his kitchen, not crying, but just staring at the tile and watching nothing as he felt his life crumbling - his only source of financial security, the thing keeping him in his apartment, keeping Angus in his arms, letting him live so close to everyone he cared about -

 

And his phone rang. 

 

“Hey, Koko. I’m on my way over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all like backstory bc you KNOW this isn't the last blast to the past we're gonna go into


	9. Chapter 9

Kravitz held his teacup in both hands, using it for warmth more than drinking it. “Why would someone burn down the flower shop on purpose?” he asked.

 

Raven Queen cleared her throat, almost awkwardly (as though she could  _ be _ awkward; she looked dignified and regal no matter what). She looked to her wife, who just shrugged, and back at her -- well, for lack of a better term, her son. 

 

“Well, Kravitz. The police said there  _ was  _ evidence of foul play, it makes more sense than any other explanation, logistically, and, well -”

 

Istus gently set her hand on her wife’s shoulder, and Raven quieted. Kravitz silently sipped his tea.

 

“Kravitz, we think it might’ve been Lydia and Edward.”

 

Kravitz started, nearly choking on his tea.

 

“Why the  _ fuck-  _ why on  _ earth _ would it be -- them? That doesn’t sound like their MO at all, why would they just -- burn down some random flower store?”

 

“That’s the thing, dear,” Istus said, placing a calming hand on top on Kravitz’s. 

 

“We don’t think it was random. We took extreme precaution when you came into my care, and it would have been very difficult for them to find you back then, but… it’s been a long time. It’s quite possible that they’ve found you, and they were trying to -- send a message, perhaps? I don’t fully understand their motives. They’ve never been incredibly stable individuals, what with all the trying to kill me and steal my money, and all. After all these years, perhaps arson is right up their alley,” Raven said, evenly.

 

“You’re - you’re not wrong, I suppose. I just - am I in danger, Raven? Are you?”

 

Raven joined her wife in holding Kravitz’s hand, and looked at him solemnly, but not unkindly.

 

“I don’t know. I don’t know.”

 

\----

 

Angus, Taako, Magnus, and Merle stood in front of the ruins of Larkspur Flowers. Angus was holding onto Taako with his right hand, and Magnus with his left. None of them said a word.

 

A man dressed in an attractive but garish, glittering suit was suddenly leaning on Taako’s shoulder.

 

“Real tragedy, what happened here,” he said.

 

A woman in a concerningly matching dress seemed to just appear out of thin air, and placed one hand on Magnus’s back and the other on Merle’s shoulder.

 

“Oh,  _ very  _ tragic,” she said.

 

“I can’t imagine anyone with a heart being able to do something like this,” the man continued, without leaving a beat for anyone to react.

 

“Whoever it was must’ve had some deeply personal motive in order to be able to stomach this level of destruction,” the woman said, nodding. “To put such handsome young men out of work,” she said, looking over Magnus appraisingly. 

 

Magnus spun to face her, dropping Angus’s hand and pushing the woman’s arm away from himself with only slightly more force than strictly necessary. Angus let go of Taako and turned to look inquisitively at the woman, and Magnus subtly held out his hand in front of the kid; his bad-guy-senses were tingling. 

 

Taako nudged the man’s hand away from his shoulder with his umbrella, and took hold of Angus’s hand again.

 

“Your outfits are  _ fucking spectacular _ ,” Taako said. Magnus gave him a  _ look, _ and Merle snickered.

 

“Who are you?” Magnus asked.

 

“Well, darlings, I think that’s our cue,” the woman said, either ignoring Magnus’s question or blatantly refusing to answer.

 

“It’s been lovely to meet you! We’ll be seeing you!” the man said, linking his arm with the woman (his sister? They looked an awful lot alike). The two strode off, disappearing around a street corner as suddenly as they had appeared. Magnus scratched his head.

 

“I’m not the only one who got bad vibes from them, right?”

 

Taako shrugged. “They looked amazing, that’s kind all I need.”

 

Merle snorted. “Oh, they were damn creepy, Maggie. You’re not the only one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ghhhhh griffin mcelroy can rip this headcanon (au, i guess, since he said it wasn't canon?) outta my COLD DEAD HANDS OK


	10. Chapter 10

“They were these creepy ass twins, like some twisted version of Lup and Taako, and I swear to Pan the lady one was checkin’ Maggie out,” Merle said with a snort. He smiled at John, who didn’t see it, too busy puzzling over the chessboard between them. John moved a knight and sat back in his chair.

 

“Did you get their names?”

 

“No, that’s the other weird thing! They took off as soon as Magnus asked.”

 

“Hm.” 

 

“Hey, John?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“We play chess just about every day now. You haven’t tried to evict me in two weeks.”

 

“Well-”

 

“Are we friends?”

 

John paled. He stood and looked out the window of Merle’s apartment and paused, looking out over the parking lot and the sunset in the background.

 

“I don’t have any friends, Merle. I don’t need them. Friends are so pointless, Merle, I’ve made it this far without them. Friendships are so… small, Merle, they’re so small. They don’t matter.”

 

Merle padded over to John’s side, and looked out the window with him.

 

“Everything’s small, Johnny boy. We’ll all die, so what?” Merle put his hand on John’s. “Find joy wherever you find joy, but I find it with you, and if that don’t make us friends, then I dunno what will.”

 

They didn’t move for a long time. 

 

\----

 

“Taako, please be careful.”

 

Taako was taken aback by his boyfriend(?)’s serious tone. Taako’d been in the middle of a particularly funny recounting of the freaky, hot twins that he’d run into when Kravitz straight up (ha, straight) interrupted him. Which was an abnormality in and of itself - Kravitz was usually very polite. 

 

“Huh?” Taako asked, rather than voice his thoughts. Kravitz moved his hand off of Taako’s knee and looked at the floor.

 

“They’re very dangerous, Taako, you don’t know what they might do.”

 

“... The fuck? You know these fools?”

 

Rather than look up, Kravitz stared more intensely, silently.

 

\----

 

Keats was young, and he was sick.

 

He was sick a lot, but it wasn’t going away this time. His brother and sister were scared. They had done everything they could for him; they were running out of resources. 

 

Keats wasn’t exceptionally afraid of dying. He was only twelve, and he loved Edward and Lydia, but he was sick a lot, and it would honestly be a lot less of a strain on them if they didn’t have to worry about his health all the time. 

 

Besides, they scared him.

 

The occasional pickpocketing wasn’t unusual for them, even Keats had done it a few times. But recently, they weren’t just pickpocketing. They hadn’t said anything about it, but when Lydia came home with blood on her hands after Keats was supposed to be asleep and Edward was holding a sparkly necklace and they were both grinning, Keats kind of put it together. He wasn’t stupid.

 

They were overprotective, too. Keats could rarely leave their sight.

 

When he did, he went to the library. That was where he met Raven. 

 

She was kind, and smart, and beautiful, and while Keats thought that it was kind of presumptuous to call her the most wonderful woman in the world, he privately called her that anyway. Only in his diary, only when Edward and Lydia weren’t around, because they thought his diary was dumb. But his diary was the only one Keats told about wanting to be a conductor, and the only one he told about Raven.

 

When Keats showed up to the library unable to hold a conversation without coughing so much that a little bit of blood splattered onto his sleeve, Raven finally asked him about his family. He told her he lived with his brother and sister. She wanted to know if they had money to get him a doctor. Keats politely shook his head.

 

“Ah, no, ma’am, not really, but-- it’s alright, I don’t mind.”

 

(He would remember the expression that crossed her face for the rest of his life, but it would take years before he would realize what it was.)

 

She asked him more, and he told him about the blood and the necklace - he trusted her - and she took his hand and took him home. She said they would go back for his things the next day, but she said he needed a good bed to sleep on if he ever wanted to get better.

 

He woke up in the middle of the night when he heard Raven scream, and then he vaguely processed Edward and Lydia look at him as they ran past his room (one of them said “We love you”, he never knew which one), and that was the last time that Keats-- the last time that  _ Kravitz _ ever saw his brother and sister. He wasn’t very sad about it.

 

\----

 

Kravitz did not tell Taako all of that, of course, but he gave a good one-sentence summary.

 

“They’re my brother and sister.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i thought the title of this fic would end up being way more relevant than it is, whoops. i think i'll change it? any suggestions??


	11. Chapter 11

_ Starblaster _

 

hottertwin: emergency family meeting my place

 

Hottesttwin: Shit taako ok is ango asleep yet?

 

hottertwin: yea but he’ll probably wake up whenever you get here so be quiet

 

hottertwin: hold up

 

_ Starblaster + Kravitz _

 

hottertwin: ok krav is here this directly involves him

 

Kravitz: Hello

 

Ruffboi: Hi Kravitz! Is anyone dead 

 

Bluejeans: No one’s dead, Magnus

 

Bluejeans: Right?

 

Bluejeans: Holy shit who’s dead 

 

Lucygoosey: I’m sure no one’s dead.

 

Cap’nport: Then why did Taako stop responding?

 

Kravitz: He went to check on Angus, he left his phone. No one’s dead!

 

Ruffboi: Oh thank Istus

 

Ruffboi: ALSO HEY CAPNPORT!!!!

 

Cap’nport: Hey, Magnus

 

Cap’nport: Where’s Merle? I know for a fact that that man is not asleep.

 

hottertwin: porb hanging out w his new boooooyfrieeeeend

 

hottertwin: *prob

 

Hottesttwin: Lmao he porb is

 

hottertwin: i genuinely loathe you

 

Ruffboi: Dad has a boyfriend?

 

Cap’nport: Merle has a boyfriend?

 

Lucygoosey: I love you both but you’re very very dense

 

Lucygoosey: Well, Magnus more than you, Dav, you weren’t at Game Night.

 

Kravitz: Are we talking about Merle’s landlord?

 

Hottesttwin: OBVIOUSLY

 

Kravitz: Huh.

 

hottertwin: babe ily but your gaydar SUCKS

 

Kravitz: Does it?

 

Lucygoosey: It does. But it can’t be worse than Magnus’s.

 

hottertwin: Magnus “Wow Taako You Spend A Lot Of Time Alone With That Boy You Guys Must Be Really Great Friends!” Burnsides

 

Ruffboi: WE WERE THIRTEEN

 

hottertwin: nevertheless

 

hottertwin: anyway you fools need to get off your asses and GET OVER HERE

 

Cap’nport: I’m in Brazil

 

hottertwin: well you’re excused but you’re on thin fucking ice

 

Ruffboi: IM ON MY WAY RIGHT NOW

 

Bluejeans: Don’t text and drive!

 

Hottesttwin: You mean like you’re doing right now babe

 

Bluejeans: I’m better at it.

 

Hottesttwin: True

 

hottertwin: tru

 

Cap’nport: True.

 

Lucygoosey: You really are.

 

#1Dad: Very true

 

Cap’nport: Merle!

 

hottertwin: get over here, old man! bring your boyfriend if you have to!

 

#1Dad: I have a boyfriend?

 

Ruffboi: See! They’re not dating!

 

hottertwin: TEXTING AND DRIVING, MAGS

 

hottertwin: also they definitely are they just don’t know it yet.

 

#1Dad: ???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to my friend madi's TERRIBLE GAYDAR


	12. Chapter 12

Magnus arrived first, followed shortly by Lup and Barry, then Lucretia. Merle showed up a few minutes later precariously balancing seven Starbucks cups, which he promptly dished out (“I dunno what you like, Kravitz, so I got ya tea.”)

 

When everyone had settled on Taako’s living room floor, sitting in a circle like a group of kindergarteners, waiting in silence, Taako turned to his boyfriend with a pointed glance. Kravitz cleared his throat.

 

“We, that is, ah-- I think I know who burned down Istus’s store. Well. I’m actually fairly certain, now. Um.”

 

Lup looked at Taako, and he gave her a “just wait” look. Everyone stared at Kravitz, unsure.

 

“So, uh, who is it?” Magnus asked.

 

Kravitz swallowed. “I haven’t really  _ proven  _ it yet, but -”

 

“Spit it out, Krav,” Taako said, not unkindly.

 

“Their names are Edward and Lydia. The twins you - Magnus, Merle, and Taako - met outside the remains of the store. They’re, ah, they’re my older brother and sister.”

 

Magnus dropped his coffee (joining many other similar stains on the carpet). Barry muttered something along the lines of “plot twist”. Lucretia’s hand twitched like she wanted to be writing this down.

 

“Are they dangerous, Kravitz? Do we need to be worried?” Lucretia asked.

 

“I mean, they’re arsonists,” Barry said.

 

“So’s Lup,” Magnus offered.

 

“Hey!”

 

“I haven’t seen them in a long time, but, best guess, they’re extremely dangerous.”

 

“How long?” Lucretia asked, leaning forward and looking over Kravitz. Merle elbowed her gently, and she sat back a little. Kravitz shrunk under the scrutiny, and answered in a small voice.

 

“Since I was twelve.”

 

Lucretia looked like she wanted to ask something else, but Lup beat her to it.

 

“Why’d you leave?” 

 

“I was sick. They didn’t-- they stole for money, usually, but they were getting… crazier, more daring, and I didn’t want-- well. That’s when Raven found me, she took me in, and we moved here to get away from them. I haven’t seen them since.” Taako wordlessly grabbed Kravitz’s hand in his, and Kravitz sighed. There was a moment of silence, and Lup stood. She strode across the room and into the hall, and returned with a pajama-ed Angus in her arms. He was holding a tiny notebook and pen. She sat him down in Barry’s lap and reclaimed her spot on the floor, looking at Taako. Taako shrugged.

 

“How long’ve you been listening, pumpkin?” he asked.

 

“Since Uncle Magnus got here, sir. He woke me up with his Magnus-ness.” Everyone turned to look at Magnus, who frowned, but shrugged.

 

“Sounds about right. Oh! Somebody text Davenport and tell him no one’s dead!”

 

“On it,” Merle said.

 

Angus turned to Kravitz, a solemn expression on his face and his pen in hand.

 

“Mr. Kravitz, exactly how dangerous would you estimate your siblings to be?”

 

“Um.” Kravitz looked to Taako.

 

“Be honest, babe.”

 

“The last time I saw them, they were trying to murder Raven,” Kravitz said, with the air of someone ripping off a bandaid. “And it’s been years, so I would consider them… extremely dangerous, to say the least.”

 

“So easily capable of murder, then. Hm.” Angus made a note in his notebook. Taako sighed, looking exhausted.

 

“Ango, you should go to bed. It’s late.”

 

“It’s only eleven, sir-”

 

“Angus, really you don’t need to be not, worrying about all this, you’re like, three, you have school tomorrow-”

 

“Dad-”

 

Barry cut Angus off, nudging the kid off of his lap. “Listen to Taako, Angus. I’m sure Kravitz will be able to answer your questions some other time.”

 

Angus stifled a yawn. “I’m really fine, I want to have as much information as I can as soon as possible.”

 

Taako put his hand on Kravitz’s shoulder, using his boyfriend to boost himself up, putting on a Dad expression that most in the room had only seen once or twice, if ever.

 

“Angus. Go to bed. You’re a genius and shit, but you’re a kid first, remember? Go to bed.”

 

Angus frowned, but said his goodnights (giving a hug to everyone but Kravitz, who he offered a polite handshake), and went off to bed. Taako sunk back down to the floor, putting his head in Kravitz’s lap.

 

“You guys can all go home now. It really is late as shit.”

 

Merle and Lucretia left, but Lup, Barry, and Magnus stayed the night. Lup and Barry squeezed together on the couch and Magnus fell asleep on the old rocking chair he’d made for Taako years ago. Kravitz stood to leave, but Lup gave him a  _ look _ , so he ended up curled up on Taako’s bed.

 

\----

 

Taako stared at the ceiling for a minute, focusing on his breathing, before he carefully rolled over and checked his phone. Three seventeen. He groaned, but he wasn’t surprised. He set his phone back down and silently slid out of bed, taking a moment to appreciate the fact that Kravitz was virtually impossible to wake up, and also that Kravitz looked real cute when he was asleep.

 

Next stop was Angus. He was a pretty light sleeper, but Taako was stealthy, and had practice checking up on him without waking him up. Once satisfied that his son was safe, Taako crept out into the kitchen, where he saw his sister standing, making tea.

 

“Bad dream?” she asked, handing him a mug.

 

“Eh.” Taako shrugged. Lup sat down on the tile floor and patted the space next to her. Taako sat.

 

They stayed there in silence for almost fifteen minutes, sipping on tea and being close to each other, before Taako spoke.

 

“Angus was with us. He was with me and Mags and Merle when we saw Edward and Lydia, before we knew who they were.”

 

Lup started to braid Taako’s hair.

 

“They could’ve killed him, Lulu, easily. They could’ve killed Magnus and Dad and taken Angus, they could’ve done anything. I don’t understand why they burned down the flower shop, but I guess they’re going after Kravitz, somehow? It’s kinda his stepmom’s shop, I don’t -” Taako took a sip of his now-lukewarm tea.

 

“I know, babe. Hey, look.” Lup dropped Taako’s hair and held his hand. “I know that I can’t promise everyone’s going to be safe, but like, logically? There’s no reason they’d hurt Angus. They probably won’t hurt Kravitz, either, or they’d’ve just come out and done it.”

 

“I know-”

 

“No, I’m not finished, Koko. I can’t promise that everyone’s going to be safe, I can’t. But you’re  _ not alone. _ Mags would probably kill a man for Ango if it came down to it. Kravitz, too. No matter what happens, you aren’t alone. Literally no matter what. Okay?”

 

“Lup-”

 

“ _ Okay _ ?”

 

Taako paused, and nodded. “Okay.”

 

“C’mere, dingus,” Lup said, and held her brother. By now, she was well practiced at carefully not mentioning the warm wetness that she could feel starting to soak through her sleeve. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hnnnnnnnnng this is real short it's fine


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Davenport Interlude, Part One

Davenport sat in his hotel room, sipping on his coffee and watching the sunset. His phone had been silent since Merle had graciously confirmed that no one had died, which was thoughtful of him, if unnecessary. Davenport loved seeing the world, rediscovering old places he’d once forgotten that he loved, but he missed them -- his family, his crew.

 

\----

 

_ Several years ago _

 

Merle walked into room 356 at the McElroy Memorial Hospital. He did this often; visited the hospital rooms of people with no one to visit them bearing flowers and a conversation. He hadn’t been in this particular room in a while; whoever was in here - front desk said they didn’t know his name for sure, but mostly called him Davenport. Later, Merle would wish that he had asked why they called him that, because he was utterly unprepared for the man he saw sitting on the hospital bed.

 

The man was perched on the edge of the bed like a bird, gazing out the window, mouth moving but Merle couldn’t hear any sound. He was short, like Merle, and his considerable red mustache was unkempt, stubble dotting his chin. The blueish grayish greenish color of the hospital gown contrasting with the man’s vibrant hair only served to make him look washed out and exhausted. He seemed like the sort of man who kept himself clean and neat, but Merle doubted that tidiness could be at the top of this poor fellow’s list of priorities. Judging by the way he was staring out at the world beyond the window, fingers holding tightly to the bedsheets and knees bouncing Merle guessed that the top of 20 spots on that list belonged to a single goal: get out.

 

Merle stepped forward, and he begun to hear the quiet murmur of the man’s muttering. Still unable to make out any words, Merle cleared his throat. The man turned sharply, falling silent.

 

“Uh, hey, bud. I brought you some flowers. My name’s Merle,” Merle said, cradling the vase in the crook of his left arm and holding out his left hand to shake.

 

The man didn’t move for a moment, just stared. He stood, and took the vase from Merle, leaving Merle’s handshake hanging. He handled the vase like he was handling a baby, hands shaking, and placed it tenderly on his bedside table, giving it a satisfied pat. Merle spoke up again.

 

“What’s yer name, buddy?”

 

“Davenport!”

 

_ Oh, _ Merle thought,  _ I guess they call him that because it’s his name. _

 

“Where ya from, Dav?”

 

“Davenport,” he said, quieter.

 

_ Oh,  _ Merle thought again.  _ Maybe not. _

 

\----

 

When Merle came back, he had a deck of cards.

 

“Figure I could teach you a few games. Maybe we can figure something out.”

 

Davenport looked like he might cry.

 

\----

 

The doctors said Davenport had amnesia. He didn’t seem to have memory of anything; no family, no home. Just his name, if that was his name.

 

\----

 

Gradually, Merle brought the others in. Lucretia first; she was the most curious to meet this guy Merle kept talking about, and the most likely to behave. But they all met him. Before long, it was routine for any of them to come around and visit whenever they had a minute. Lup regularly brought in food, Magnus brought dog pictures, and so on. Soon enough, Davenport was a part of their group, verbal communication or no. Most of them could interpret him pretty well, anyway.

 

\----

 

The doctors said they couldn’t do anything for Davenport. There wasn’t really anything wrong with him, medically speaking, they said. He’d have to go back to the real world.

 

Merle took him in without a second thought. With Magnus and Taako living in dorms, they were never over anyway, and the house felt too quiet most of the time. Company was appreciated.

 

\----

 

Davenport had one possession to his name: the large car they found about twenty yards off of where they found the man himself, demolished. He was adamant that it was his, and he spent much of his time living with Merle trying to fix it up. Magnus and Taako dubbed it the  _ Starblaster _ , with everyone’s enthusiastic consent.

  
The night that the  _ Starblaster _ got its name, the seven of them were sitting outside, enjoying the cool summer evening, when Davenport got an idea. Without warning, he pointed to the car and said, with barely a stutter, “r-road trip!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HECK yall have been so nice w all your comments????? i love you guys so much


	14. Chapter 14

Magnus woke up to his phone buzzing incessantly. He groggily turned it on to see a lot - it was too early for numbers - of texts from the same person. 

 

Fliplizard: MAGS WHAT HAPPENED

 

Fliplizard: YOU SAID YOUD TEXT ME WHEN YOU FOUND OUT

 

Fliplizard: WHY WAS THERE AN EMERGENCY MEETING

 

Fliplizard: IS ANYBODY DEAD

 

Fliplizard: ARE YOU DEAD

 

Fliplizard: YOURE NOT WITH JULIA

 

Fliplizard: CRAP YOURE NOT DEAD ARE YOU

 

Fliplizard: ILL KILL YOU IF YOU ARE

 

Fliplizard: AND THEN ILL GO TO JAIL AND KILLS WILL KILL M E

 

Fliplizard: AND THEN S H E ‘ L L GO TO JAIL

 

Fliplizard: KILLIAN WONT DO WELL IN JAIL WITHOUT ME MAGNUS

 

Fliplizard: MAGNUSSSSSS

 

Fliplizard: MAGNUS

 

Fliplizard: MAGNS

 

Fliplizard: MASGN

 

Fliplizard: MGNS

 

Fliplizard: MGDHFVS,JHV

 

Fliplizard: M A G N U S

 

Spaceman: I JUST woke up Carey

 

Spaceman: I haven’t even texted Julia yet

 

Fliplizard: Geez you really did just wake up

 

Fliplizard: IS anyone dead though

 

Spaceman: Nah

 

Fliplizard: Oh good

 

Fliplizard: So what was the emergency meeting about

 

Spaceman: Taako’s boyfriend’s siblings are crazy evil villains and they burned down the flower shop and now they might attack any of us at any time I think?

 

Fliplizard: What the FUCK

 

Fliplizard: I just said that out loud and now Killian’s looking at me weird thanks

 

Spaceman: You’re welcome!

 

Fliplizard: How’s everyone doing?

 

Spaceman: OK, I think. Taako seems pretty worn out. Me and Barry and Lup stayed over. 

 

Spaceman: So did Kravitz

 

Fliplizard: That’s the bf right

 

Spaceman: That’s the bf.

 

Fliplizard: F’real though is it like, safe for you guys to be on the streets now?

 

Spaceman: I’m gonna be fine Carey I’m armed and DANGEROUS

 

Spaceman: Well not armed

 

Spaceman: I have arms

 

Spaceman: I’m mostly worried about Taako and Ango, they’re the closest to Kravitz?

 

Spaceman: Shit and Lup looks just like Taako what if they kill her on accident

 

Spaceman: And what if Barry’s with her what if they kill him too

 

Spaceman: What if they find Davenport he won’t even be prepared

 

Spaceman: SHIT what if I’m not with Julia and they kill her???

 

Spaceman: OH GOD THEYRE GONNA KILL JULIA

 

Spaceman: IM GOING TO KILL THEM FIRST

 

Spaceman: CAREY WHY’D YOU STOP RESPONDING YOU GOTTA HELP ME KILL THEM OH MY GOD

 

Fliplizard: Hey, Mags, this is Killian, calm the fuck down there buddy

 

Fliplizard: I know you’re about to type the word “but” don’t do it Magnus

 

Fliplizard: We’ll help you fight anyone if you need to. Have you called Hurley yet?

 

Spaceman: Oh yeah

 

Spaceman: Hurley

 

Fliplizard: Yeah, might be nice to tell the only police officer we know

 

Spaceman: Youre right

 

Fliplizard: I always am

 

Fliplizard: This is Carey again have somebody over there give you a hug ok buddy

 

Fliplizard: Lup gives good hugs ask Lup

 

Fliplizard: And text Julia

 

Spaceman: Yeah ok thanks Carey

 

Fliplizard: Love ya bud

 

Spaceman: Love you too

 

\----

 

Mags: Hey Julia good morning

 

Jules <3: Morning babe

 

Jules <3: Carey already texted me and explained the situation

 

Jules <3: You doin ok?

 

Mags: I’m ok. You?

 

Jules <3: I’m fine, Maggie

 

Mags: Hey I love you

 

Jules <3: Love you too

 

Jules <3: Go wake up Lup and help her make a bomb ass breakfast ok?

 

Jules <3: Maybe let Taako sleep

 

Mags: Ok, I’ll bring some food home for you and Johann

 

Jules <3: You had better or I’ll divorce you

 

Mags: Can’t do that until we’re married

 

Jules <3: Well I’ll wait two months and then divorce you

 

Mags: WAIT SHIT IT’S ONLY TWO MONTHS AWAY ISNT IT

 

Jules <3: We had this conversation last month

 

Mags: Yeah but

 

Mags: I’m just so excited

 

Mags: You’re gonna be my WIFE

 

Mags: I’m gonna be your HUSBAND

 

Mags: I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH

 

Jules <3: I KNOW RIGHT I LOVE YOU TOO NOW GO EAT SOMETHING

 

Mags: OK BYE LOVE YOU

 

Jules <3: YOU SAID THAT ALREADY

 

Mags: BUT IT’S STILL TRUE

 

Jules <3: WELL I LOVE YOU MORE SO

 

Mags: HEY

 

Jules <3: BYE MAGNUS

 

Mags: BYEE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna go to bed early but then i got caught up reading johnchurch fics and became too sad to sleep so i had to write for a bit to cheer myself up so h e r e w e a r e (also tell me if I've already established a timeframe for mag n jules's wedding??? i mightve and forgotten whoops its fine)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey!! there's some implication of a past abusive relationship in this chapter! stay safe!

Magnus rose from his spot on the rocking chair and stretched, his spine popping so loudly it sounded like gunshots. He glanced over to the couch -- Barry was still there, dead to the world, but the only evidence that Lup had been there at all was a vaguely person-shaped dent in the cushions (which might’ve already been there, honestly). Magnus took a moment to silently thank Carey for teaching him how to sneak, and tiptoed into the kitchen.

 

He hadn’t yet taken a step onto the tile when he saw the twins curled up in the corner. Taako was asleep, but Lup was awake, gently brushing out his hair. Yesterday’s mascara streaking down Taako’s cheeks told Magnus all he needed to know.

 

Lup looked up, a little startled. Magnus waved.

 

“Sneaky,” she mouthed.

 

“Carey,” he responded. She made a convoluted gesture that looked like someone slinging a sack of potatoes over their shoulder, pointed to Taako, and did the universal sign for sleep. Magnus cocked his head to the side, confused. She jerked her head in the direction of Taako’s room, and Magnus made a silent “oh”.

 

He gently crept into the kitchen. Lup scooched away from her brother, and Magnus tenderly picked him up. He didn’t stir. Lup looked impressed.

 

“Experience,” Magnus mouthed at her. She smiled, a little sadly.

 

Magnus stubbed his toe.

 

“Fuckbiscuit!” he said, loudly. Then, quieter, “ah, shit.”

 

Taako lifted his head, almost imperceptibly. “Mags?” he muttered.

 

In a well-practiced maneuver, Magnus shifted Taako’s weight to one arm, and used the other to gently rub circles into his back.

 

“Hey, shh, T, it’s all good. Just taking you back to bed, you can sleep.”

 

Taako made a grumbly sound, but rested his head back on Magnus’s shoulder, and his breathing slowed back into the regular pattern of sleep. Lup gave Magnus a thumbs up. Magnus carried Taako off, and laid him down next to Kravitz with a smile.

 

\----

 

It was two in the morning, and Magnus had gotten up to get a glass of water. He wasn’t exactly being quiet, he didn’t know how, Carey wouldn’t teach him for years. 

 

As he walked through the little house he shared with his dad (well, his Merle, he only called him dad half the time, usually when he wanted something) and his brother - not that Taako would call him his brother outside of the permanent blanket fort that Magnus had helped Taako build in Taako’s closet, because what happens in the blanket fort stays in the blanket fort - Magnus saw a light from the kitchen, and heard the clink of metal against glass.

 

“Taako?” he said, with a yawn, stepping in. Taako dropped the glass bowl he was holding and it shattered on the floor, leaving Taako, fully dressed but barefoot, holding a whisk covered in a light pink frosting and staring at Magnus like he’d just seen a ghost.

 

“Uh, hey, buddy. Yikes, lemme just -” Magnus went to grab the broom from the pantry, but he’d hardly started sweeping the farther-reaching shards when Taako shook himself out of his stupor.

 

“No need, Mags, I got it,” Taako said, squatting down and picking out the glass from the frosting with his bare hands and setting it in his apron.

 

“No, don’t -- quit being dumb, you’re not even wearing shoes, you’re gonna cut yourself.”

 

“Pssh, it’ll be fine,” Taako said, at the exact moment when a drop of red splashed down into the pink mess below. “Oh, shit.”

 

Magnus knelt down and reached across the mess to press a paper towel onto Taako’s bleeding hand.

 

“Dude, your hands are shaking like -- fuck.”

 

“They always do that.”

 

“No, they don’t.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“How long’ve you been up?”

 

“Am I being interrogated?”

 

“Is that a bruise?” 

 

“What?”

 

Magnus gently pushed up Taako’s sleeve, revealing a deep purple bruise on his forearm. Magnus traced over it with his finger, careful not to press down hard enough for it to hurt. Taako still winced.

 

“Sorry. Where did this come from?”

 

“I bumped it on a counter real hard. I was running.”

 

“A hand-shaped counter?”

 

“It was somebody’s art project.”

 

“Taako.”

 

“Really good table, a real statement piece.”

 

“I know my bruises, Taako, I’ve had enough of them by now. Was it Sazed?”

 

“No, it wasn’t Sazed.”

 

“Was it Sazed?” Magnus looked Taako right in the eyes, daring him to lie. Taako looked down.

 

“Yeah, but it’s not a big deal. I was being an ass, he didn’t mean it.” Despite his nonchalance, Taako was tearing up. 

 

“Taako, what happened?”

 

“Doesn’t matter. Go back to bed, I can clean this up.”

 

“Taako.”

 

“Magnus.”

 

“. . . At least let me help you clean it.”

 

“Yeah, whatever.”

 

It took them almost thirty minutes to get all the glass and icing out of all the cracks in the tiles, and Magnus kept eating the icing out of the cracks (“Dude,  _ ew _ ”) but by the end, Taako’s eyes weren’t so red anymore. Magnus got his water and went to bed, telling Taako to get some sleep. Taako said he would as soon as he finished his cookies; they were already in the oven, he could just whip up another batch of icing and get them iced at school before the bake sale. Magnus nodded, and, after a thought, held out his arms in an invitation for a hug. Taako paused, but consented, and nearly had the wind knocked out of him as Magnus’s big football player arms just about squeezed the life out of him. Magnus gave his brother a little kiss on the hair, and Taako pushed him away, calling him a “sappy bastard”, but he was smiling.

 

At four, Magnus got up again, just to make sure Taako had kept his word. In a way, he had; there was a bag of icing and a couple tupperwares containing a few dozen cookies on the counter, and Taako  _ was _ asleep, slumped up against the dishwasher.

 

After a moment of consideration, Magnus scooped Taako up into his arms. Taako’s breathing hitched for a moment, and he stiffened, and Magnus was afraid he’d done something wrong. But he took a deep breath and, with some difficulty, shifted Taako into his right arm, using his left to gently rub Taako’s back.

 

“Shh, bro. It’s all good, I got you. I’m just taking you back to your room, go back to sleep, shh,” Magnus whispered. It seemed to work, because Taako settled into Magnus’s arms. When Magnus actually got to Taako’s room, he couldn’t get Taako to stop clinging, so he just clambered into bed, too, letting Taako rest against his chest. It was an awkward angle, but Magnus could sleep anywhere. So he slept, and hoped Taako wouldn’t be mad at him in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there hadnt been enough magnus in this fic and i needed to rectify that


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief check-in.

When Davenport was finally informed of the situation, he bought the next plane ticket back home.

 

\----

 

Kravitz wrung his hands anxiously. It’d been about a week since he told his boyfriend’s family that he had crazy murder siblings that might literally kill any of them at any given time. He hadn’t come any closer to understanding their motives, why they hadn’t acted since the flower shop. Part of his mind said that maybe they hadn’t even been the ones to do it, it hadn’t been proven, but the rest of his mind was loud enough to drown that part out.

 

\----

 

Lup could see her brother starting to bend under the pressure, the danger to his son, his whole family. She hung around as much as she could, but she had a husband and a job that she had to worry about. A few of her students had expressed their concern as to her wellbeing, and she had waved them away, but she was seriously considering taking a few days off with Barry and just thinking about family. For Barry’s sake as much as hers; he was even more anxious than usual.

 

\----

 

Julia’s main fear was that Magnus would rush into some dangerous situation and get himself killed. She trusted his judgement, but she knew he would die for his family if he had too. But, honestly, he wouldn’t be Magnus if he wasn’t loyal to a fault, and she loved him for it, even when it was dangerous. She knew he was afraid for her, but he trusted her, too. They’d be okay.

 

\----

 

Lucretia was just afraid. She was afraid she would lose the family that it had been so hard for her to find, but so easy to fit into, all things considered. She did everything she could to help, but feared it wasn’t going to be enough. The inactivity of Edward and Lydia only served to increase tension, and make her more paranoid.

 

\----

 

Angus considered himself brave, and he was desperate to learn more about Kravitz’s siblings and his past. He’d done a considerable amount of snooping (with a little help from Hurley and Sloane, due to their access to police records), and thought he was about as prepared as possible for any impending attack, but he was still a little boy and not exactly excited about being put into mortal danger.

 

\----

 

Merle knew that Taako thought of him as a father, even if he never said it, and dammit if Merle didn’t think of Taako as a son. The whole family felt like his kids sometimes, but he was really worried for his boys. Magnus and Taako. The three of them had gotten into some sticky situations themselves, like when Magnus and Julia had gotten involved in that gang war a few years back, or Taako had been accused of poisoning the cookies he brought to a school bake sale. He voiced his concerns to John, who simply told him to look out for himself more. Good advice, maybe. Wasn’t gonna change anything.

 

\----

 

Edward and Lydia were planning. They'd rushed in to this, thinking it'd be simpler, and now their next steps had to be perfect.


	17. Chapter 17

For once in his life, Kravitz was running late. He had spent far too long trying to get ahold of Raven, who wasn’t answering her phone, to ask for some kind of advice. Which was stupid, anyway, because Kravitz had already met  _ most _ of Taako’s family, he didn’t know why a dinner with the seven of them plus the man that Kravitz had gathered was sort of their team captain (dad?) was so nerve-wracking. He blamed it on tensions being so high lately, but Kravitz just had a bad feeling.

 

Captain Davenport was a part of their family, he was sure to be something like the rest of them, right? Kind, at least. He had to be nice, or they wouldn’t hang out with him. Would they?

 

Kravitz shook his head and focused on the road ahead of him.

 

\----

 

Taako was more than a little bit anxious going into this whole affair, but now that Davenport was here, Taako was shockingly calm. The food was almost ready, and Kravitz had texted about a hundred overly-apologetic “I’m so so sorry I’m late” texts, which was honestly pretty cute. Davenport was chill; there was no way he’d have any problem with Kravitz as long as he wasn’t Sazed or anything. And he wasn’t, so no problem. Taako smiled as he stirred the alfredo sauce. He could hear Angus, Magnus, and Julia playing with Johann over in the living room ( _ Magnus and Julia’s living room _ , Taako thought.  _ Fuckin domestic _ ).

 

Lup stepped into the kitchen.

 

“Bout done in here, brobro?”

 

“Yeah, just gimme a sec.”

 

“Is Kravitz  _ coming _ ?” Magnus shouted from the living room. “I made him a duck!”

 

“He’s on his way, chill. I’m sure he’ll love your duck,” Lup shouted back. “Need any help in here, Koko?”

 

“No, I’m almost-” He froze. So did Lup. They shared a glance - they heard something. Taako gave her a small nod.  _ Go check it out.  _ Lup nodded back and walked over to the door. Magnus may not have always been the most subtle fellow, but he’d been in enough scrapes to know when something was up, too. He stood and excused himself to join Taako in the kitchen, citing a need to grab silverware before Kravitz showed up.

 

Magnus lowered his voice to an uncharacteristic whisper. “Something’s up, right?”

 

Taako nodded without looking up, focusing on stirring his sauce.

 

“Plan?”

 

“Lup’s checking it out. Give her a sec.”

 

Lup stepped back in and confirmed Taako’s suspicion.

 

“Door won’t budge.”

 

“Thought not. Any immediate danger?” Magnus asked. Lup shook her head.

 

“Not that I can tell. Koko, keep Angus in your sight, I’m gonna start checking windows and stuff. Mags, keep everyone chill, we don’t know what’s up yet.”

 

Taako started plating food, and Magnus helped him carry it into the living room. 

 

The lights went out. Taako almost dropped the pasta in his hands. Everyone was silent.

 

Instead, he set calmly everything down on the coffee table. He felt small hands grab onto his leg; Angus must have figured that something was wrong. In the darkness, Taako saw Magnus sit next to Julia and whisper something in her ear. 

 

“Blew a fuse?” Merle asked.

 

“Don’t think so, Dad,” Magnus said.

 

“Figures.”

 

“Barry, you might wanna go help Lup, she went down to the garage,” Taako said.

 

Davenport spoke up, sounding commanding despite his stuttering. “I-I’ll go with you. Julia, Lucretia, Taako, Angus, t-to Magnus’s room. Magnus, Merle, patrol, and go back with the- the others when you’re done.”

 

There was just a half second of stillness before everyone silently and simultaneously moved to follow orders in practiced synchronicity. Magnus and Merle moved to the window, Barry and Davenport went downstairs, and the rest started walking back to Magnus and Julia’s room. Lucretia held Angus’s hand tightly, and Julia gently led Johann back with them, trying to quiet his whimpers. 

 

Taako paused only briefly to look back at Magnus and Merle, but when he turned back, the door to Magnus’s room had closed in his face.

 

“The hell…” He tried the doorknob. It refused to turn. He knocked. The only response was a quiet yelp from Johann and a muffled “Taako?”, neither of which exactly inspired Taako’s confidence.

 

He took a moment to listen to the silence and remind himself how to breathe before turning back and walking to Merle and Magnus.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be hunkerin’ down?” Merle asked quietly.

 

“The door’s locked,” Taako said, terse. Magnus looked up.

 

“Is Julia-”

 

“I’m sure they’re fine, Magnus,” Merle reassured. 

 

“I’m going to go check on Lup,” Taako said.

 

“We should go together. Safer,” Magnus responded. Merle nodded. The three carefully walked downstairs; Magnus firmly set his hand on Taako’s shoulder as though Taako was the only one with family in danger. 

 

Unsurprisingly, the door was locked.

 

“Lup?” Taako called, strikingly loud in the quiet.

 

No response. Taako wordlessly walked back up the stairs, Merle and Magnus following.

 

“We could break a window,” Magnus suggested. “Or break down the doors.”

 

Taako’s phone started ringing before anyone could respond. He picked it up and put it on speaker.

 

“I wouldn’t do that, darling, I really don’t advise leaving that living room, okay?” came a woman’s voice. Lydia.

 

Magnus glowered. He picked up the phone and spoke with the intense anger that few even knew him to be capable of.

 

“If you think for a  _ fucking second _ that I’m going to listen to you instead of breaking down that  _ fucking door  _ and saving my wife-”

 

He was cut off by Taako muttering “cool it with the language, Mags”, giggles, and Edward’s voice. “We promise, Magnus, she’s just fine! Everyone is  _ fine. _ ”

 

Magnus opened his mouth to say something else, but Merle gave him a meaningful look and took the phone, holding it between the three of them. 

 

“Can one of y’all just tell us what the hell’s goin’ on?” Merle asked, seeming more annoyed than anything.

 

“Well…”

 

\----

 

Kravitz sniffed. It smelled like smoke. Why did it smell like smoke? He glanced up.

 

“Oh,” he said, out loud, to no one.

 

Hanging from an apartment building - Taako’s - was a massive, flaming banner bearing the words:

 

_ Go home, Keats! _

_ <3 L+E _

 

Kravitz thought, distantly, that Lup would appreciate the touch with the fire. Adds a real dramatic flair. Hard to pull off the timing, but worth it. He got so caught up in this train of thought that he failed to even realize the fact that he had instinctively turned right, away from the route to Magnus’s house, and onto a back road that led out of town, towards Phandalin, his hometown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this one took a bit of a long time in production, ya girl's had a Week. BUT HEY IS ANYONE CAUGHT UP W DUST BC IM SHAKING ITS SO GOOD


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tiny tiny tiny mention of sazed n mild emetophobia in this one

“What’s to stop us from just hangin’ up on ya right now and callin’ the police?” Merle asked. Taako and Magnus blinked at him and shared a brief shit, why didn’t we think of that look.

“Well, you definitely could do that. We aren’t stopping you!”

“I just feel like it might be in your best interests, personally, for you to, hmm, not cross us? Just seeing as how your friends and family are in our care, after all.”

“Oh, yeah. That.”

It sounded like there was some muffled speech on Lydia and Edward’s end, but it was impossible to make it out.

“Oh, hey, wait. Is Kravitz with you guys?” Taako asked.

“No, darling, but he should be on his way now,” Lydia said.

“Don’t you lay a finger on that man,” Magnus growled. Taako patted his shoulder.

“Breathe, big guy.” He turned his attention back to the phone. “No but for real we’re probably going to kill you if you hurt Krav.”

“We’ll probably kill ‘em either way, won’t we?” Merle said.

“Yeah that sounds like us.”

“I really can’t seem to bring myself to be worried about that, for some reason,” Edward said.

“Your mistake, bubbeleh,” Taako said, shrugging, even though Edward couldn’t see it.

“Well - Oh! Sounds like Keats is here. We’re going to have to let you go. Have fun!” Lydia said, and hung up.

\----

Kravitz was nearly halfway to Phandalin before he fully processed the situation, and immediately pulled to the side of the road and vomited. He took a moment to remember how to breathe and try to calm himself down enough to consider his options.

Keep going. Hope he could handle Lydia and Edward on his own.  
Turn around and go to Magnus’s. Act like nothing happened. (Maybe something happened over there, too? No, he would’ve heard. Would he have?)  
Call the police. The police could help, right?

Three was the best option, obviously. The best first step. Kravitz grabbed his phone to dial 911, but there was a text notification on his lock screen. He opened it, hoping vaguely that it was from Taako, asking why he was so late. It wasn’t.

An unknown number had sent him a few pictures. Johann licking at Julia, asleep and sprawled on the floor. Angus in similar condition, but with a nasty red gash on his forehead. Barry, distressed and seemingly barely conscious, kneeling over a clearly unresponsive Lup. Merle, Magnus, and Taako, sitting in a circle on the floor, Merle’s hand on Magnus’s knee and Magnus’s arm around Taako’s shoulders, all facing away from the camera, looking at something that Kravitz couldn’t see.

Unknown number: Don’t call the police, darling, see you soon XOXO

Kravitz swallowed. Option one, then.

\----

The Highchurch-Burnsides-Taaco family had done a lot of people wrong in their time. A lotta folks held justified grudges on them.

Taako and Magnus were in high school. Magnus, notoriously, had no tolerance for bullies, and Taako was being bullied.

Well, Magnus thought he was, anyway. Taako would call it witty banter. Like, maybe they were trying to bully him or whatever, but he was bullying them back, so. Magnus, of course, did not wait around long enough to discern the nature of the interaction. All he saw was one of Sazed’s friends - this asshole named Maarvey - and his cronies slowly backing Taako into a corner, one of them holding his wide-brimmed hat. Predictably, Magnus saw red.

Later, in the principal’s office, Magnus was condemned to suspension, but he considered it a victory anyway, because Maarvey was expelled and Taako was okay.

Maarvey’s expulsion got around the school like lightning, and soon Magnus was a hero for finally getting rid of him.

Getting expelled from high school is hard to recover from, so Maarvey became a statistic. He joined a gang, got himself thrown in jail a few times, and Magnus and Taako never heard from him again.

Skip forward a few years, and they were in college. They’d just found Lup and Barry and Lucretia, and Davenport was still living in a hospital room, when Taako, Magnus, and Merle took a train.

And subsequently ended up busting a guy for stealing passengers’ valuables.

And like, endlessly antagonizing him. They were just really mean. So Jenkins went to jail, and thought every damn day about how much he hated those idiots that caught him.

About a year later, Lucretia asked them to check in on an old friend of hers who’d borrowed a couple hundred dollars a while ago and never paid her back. Turns out, the guy had used it to buy supplies for an incredibly ambitious museum heist, directly after which the boys caught him and saw the golden gauntlet sitting on his coffee table. The guy was pretty nice, but he ended up with the same fate as Jenkins. Prison. Shame, because he was about to get married; he offered Taako an invitation to the wedding. Nice guy, that Brian. Kind of weird that he had a pet spider named Bryan, but he was nice. Didn’t change the fact that he still held a bit of a grudge on Magnus, Taako, and Merle.

\----

Right after Lydia hung up, Taako, Magnus, and Merle heard footsteps. Before they saw anyone, they heard an unforgettable voice.

“Hallo!” Brian called from the hallway. “Is anybody in here?”

“Pretty sure they’re in the living room, y’know, like Edward said?”

“Oh, yes, thank you Maarvey.”

Brian stepped into view, followed closely by Maarvey and Jenkins.

“Hallo, Taako, Magnus, Merle. It’s been just such a long time, we’ve all missed you dearly!”

“Speak for yourself,” Jenkins drawled.

“Naw, I’m happy to see ‘em. Happy to punch the big guy’s face in.”

At this, Magnus stood. Taako and Merle shrugged at each other and followed suit.

“Looks like we’re gonna have to fight some fools,” Taako said.

\----

Kravitz pulled into the driveway of his childhood home. It looked like no one had lived there since he did. The exterior had fallen into a nearly unlivable disrepair, but the colorful lights shining out of every window into the night told him that there had been some modifications on the inside, at least. It made Kravitz uneasy. It, and the fact that he hadn’t seen anyone else since turning onto this street. And Raven never called him back. And his boyfriend’s family was in mortal danger. Or already dead. And his estranged, insane siblings were inside. Really, a lot about the situation was making Kravitz uneasy. He took a deep breath, straightened his jacket, and strode inside.

There wasn’t anyone in sight. Directly in front of him was the tiny dining table, with one place set with a steaming teacup and the seat pulled out. Kravitz sat, and, after inspecting it, took a drink of the tea. Which was reckless, but he was fairly certain that Edward and Lydia hadn’t brought him all the way here just to kill him.

As if on cue, loud, upbeat music started playing through the house, probably meant to distract from the clicking of the jury-rigged security system that Kravitz and Lydia had designed to lock every door and window in the house at once, just in case. Kravitz noticed it anyway.

“You can come out now. There’s no need to bother with a dramatic entrance,” Kravitz said, sounding deceptively calm.

The door directly in front of him flung open. Despite Kravitz’s request, they entered very, very dramatically, essentially posing in front of the little table right as the song ended. Kravitz sipped his tea, unimpressed.

Edward flung his arms open wide. “Keats!”

“It’s so good to see you!” Lydia finished.

“Mm, I wish I could say the same, but alas, you seem to be actively endangering people that I love, so.”

“Oh, I do hope there are no hard feelings about that! Really, we just needed a good way to get you here,” Lydia said.

“Apparently you have my phone number, so I don’t understand why that should be a problem. You could’ve just, oh, I don’t know. Asked?”

Edward laughed. “That wouldn’t have been any fun, though, hm?”

“If I’m honest here, I don’t know that this is any fun, either.”

“Oh lighten up, Keats!”

“My name is Kravitz. Now, if you will, I would like to know exactly how to save my friends. And I assume you have my mother somewhere?” Kravitz said, standing.

“Well, dear, all we want is our little brother back!” Lydia crossed the short space between them and flung an arm around Kravitz’s waist.

“We’ve missed you!” Edward did the same, putting his arm around Kravitz’s shoulders.

Kravitz shifted uncomfortably, and, in perfect creepy twin unison, Edward and Lydia spun Kravitz around, each placed a hand on one of his shoulders, and led him down the hall. Kravitz made a brief attempt to shrug them off, but quickly decided to save his strength.

They opened the door into Kravitz’s old room, revealing Raven and Istus, tied back-to-back on kitchen chairs, covered in cuts and bruises, and yet somehow still both looking as regal and in control as ever. Their presence eased Kravitz’s nerves significantly, but their condition didn’t. Instinctively, Kravitz went to Raven.

“Mother,” he said, quietly. She smiled gently at him.

Edward frowned. “She’s not your mother.”

“Mother’s dead, Keats,” Lydia said.

“Your mother is, perhaps,” Kravitz responded, walking around to brush Istus’s long hair out of her face. “Mine are alive and well.”

“God, Keats, I’m beginning to remember how irritating you were.”

“Edward, shh!”

Kravitz straightened himself and looked at his siblings.

“What do you want me to do?”

“We told you, we want our little brother back!” Lydia insisted.

“Well, here I am. Will you let my family go now?”

“It’s obviously not that simple, Keats, I don’t remember you being such a dullard,” Edward said, annoyed. “We want you back. As long as you have your ‘mother’, and your boyfriend, we can’t have you back, because you’ll run back to them, or they’ll come to find you.”

“So I repeat my question. What do you want?”

“Well, darling, we just want you to choose,” Lydia said.

“You want me to do what?”

“Choose. Pick. Decide,” Edward said.

“Your… friends are divided into three groups. Angus, Julia, and Lucretia; Lup, Barry, and Davenport; and Taako, Magnus, and Merle. Do you want us to kill Taako’s son, his sister, or himself? Not to mention everyone else.”

Kravitz felt his stomach churn. “I’m not doing that. Obviously, I’m not going to - I’m not doing that.”

“See, we thought you might say that,” Edward said.

“Hence-” Lydia gestured to Raven and Istus. “You can pick, or we can kill them, and pick for you. So, really, just choosing is the best option for you.”

“You choose, we tell them you chose, they hate you, you come with us. Simple.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IVE BEEN WRITING A L L D A Y


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one gets a wee bit violent

Maarvey, Brian, and Jenkins might have turned out to be more formidable than originally anticipated. Sure, Magnus was strong, Taako was nimble, and Merle was… creative, but Jenkins  _ did _ have a gun, which was not ideal for the boys. 

 

Magnus was sitting on the floor, pretty beat up, Taako sprawled in his lap, a hop, skip, and a jump away from death, and Merle doing his best to dress Taako’s wounds with only one eye left. It wasn’t great, but Brian, Jenkins, and Maarvey had stopped attacking, for some reason. No one was about to complain. 

 

There was a buzzing sound. Brian fished his cell phone out of his pocket and excused himself politely to take the call, only to walk back in less than a minute later.

 

“It’s for you, darling,” he said, hitting the speaker button and pressing the phone into Taako’s hand.

 

“Taako?” a familiar voice called, sounding mildly panicked. Taako coughed, and wiped away the little bit of blood that splattered out onto his face. 

 

“What’s up, babe?” Taako said. Kravitz sighed in relief. 

 

“Taako, I’m - I’m so sorry. I love you, I’m so sorry.”

 

“This isn’t your fault, Krav, chill. Everyone’s okay.”

 

“No, Taako, I don’t mean - I’m so - I’m so sorry.”

 

“Now you’re worrying me, homie. What’d they do to you over there? Are you ok? Do I gotta sic Maggie on those chucklefucks? Not that I’m not gonna do that anyway-”

 

Kravitz let out a weak chuckle. “I’m fine, Taako. Are you alright?”

 

“I’m, ah.” Taako looked at Merle. Merle shrugged. “Stable.”

 

“Okay. I - Okay. Just. Please, just do what they say, okay? I’m so sorry. I have to go now - I love you, Taako. I’m so - fucking. Sorry. I love you so much. I - I have to hang up. Goodbye, Taako.”

 

“No- wait, Kravitz - !” The call ended. Brian took his phone back. Magnus held Taako a little tighter. 

 

Maarvey nodded at Jenkins. Maarvey and Brian stood at the ready, placing themselves directly between Magnus, Merle, and Taako and the door, and Jenkins turned and walked downstairs.

 

\----

 

Kravitz held the phone long after hanging up. He held it to his chest as he stared blankly at his shoes and the dirty floor of the room he grew up in. He could feel Raven’s sorrowful and sympathetic gaze without having to look up. A long moment passed. 

 

“You do… understand that there is nothing, nothing that you can do to make me love you again, don’t you?” he said, voice steady and smooth and full of frigid rage. Edward snorted.

 

“Give it two weeks, and you’ll give up on that.”

 

“We are  _ family _ , dear.”

 

Kravitz was silent for a moment. A few moments. He clenched his fists. He looked up.

 

“I... Actually, fuck this,” he said, reeled back, and decked Edward.

 

\----

 

Taako’s head was reeling. He vaguely remembered screaming something, and he wasn’t in Magnus’s lap anymore, but he couldn’t really think-

 

Lup. Jenkins went downstairs. Kravitz was sorry. Lup was downstairs, Kravitz was sorry-

 

“Hey, hey!” And suddenly Taako was being held to Magnus’s chest, too angry and afraid to stay still but too injured to fight. 

 

\----

 

Magnus felt Taako stand before he saw it, too focused on Jenkins to see Taako shift.

 

He felt Taako stand and he heard Taako  _ scream _ . Scream for his sister. Magnus was up in a second, grabbing Taako and holding him.

 

Magnus had to think quickly. Maarvey and Brian were already starting to move towards him and Taako and Merle, closing in. Magnus dropped Taako onto the couch, being as careful as he could, cracked his knuckles, and punched Maarvey in the face. 

 

Even injured, Magnus was able to knock Maarvey unconscious fairly quickly. It took him longer with Brian-- the guy may not have been big, but he was wily. In the end, it wasn’t really even Magnus who beat him; Merle tripped him directly onto Taako, who’d grabbed his umbrella from beside the couch and was holding it out defensively. The result was the gruesome scene of a stained umbrella and blood flowing out of Brian’s eye (“Eh, serves him right,” Merle had said, touching the scarf he’d tied over mangled skin where his own eye was seemingly unsalvageable).

 

“Wait here. I’ll be right back,” Magnus said, and bounded downstairs after Jenkins. Despite Merle’s grumbled protests, Taako shoved himself off of the couch and followed.

 

\----

 

Kravitz wiped the blood off his hands onto his slacks and laughed breathlessly. He hadn’t  _ won _ , necessarily, but Edward and Lydia were both… incapacitated. Not dead, but not too far off. Kravitz didn’t really want to kill anyone in front of his stepmom. Not that he was into killing in general, but. 

 

“Can you-” he started turning to Raven and Istus. Istus nodded.

 

“We’ll watch them until the police arrive,” Raven said.

 

“Go on,” Istus added, smiling gently. Kravitz smiled gratefully and ran out to his car. 

 

\----

 

Jenkins was fucked. Jenkins was very, thoroughly fucked. And definitely going to go to back to jail, if Magnus and Taako’s outrage and the look on Merle’s face while tying Jenkins to a chair were any indication.

 

Taako sat on the floor, slumped up against the wall with Lup’s head in his lap. With the adrenaline having faded, he was struggling to stay conscious. He lifted his head in sudden panic and said, quietly, “Angus.”

 

Magnus nodded immediately. “Don’t move - I’ll get him. I’ll bring him down here.” He ran back upstairs, and Taako and Merle could hear a door being busted off its hinges. Merle moved over to inspect Lup and Barry and Davenport, the latter two both moved gently away from the virtual dogpile that the three of them had been found in. 

 

“They’re okay. Just unconscious. Lup’s gonna have one hell of a bump on ‘er head, but other than that.”

 

Taako nodded. Magnus came downstairs with, impressively, both Angus and Julia in his arms.

 

“I couldn’t figure out how to get Luce too, so, uh. I’ll bring her and Johann on down.”

 

“Don’t you bring that damn dog down here, he’ll jump all over everybody.”

 

“But, Merle! He must’ve been so scared!”

 

“He’ll be fine. Set them down and go get Lucy.”

 

“Got it.”

 

As he walked up the stairs, a banging came from the front door. Magnus tensed and went over to it, afraid of what could be on the other side. 

 

But when he opened it, he saw a dishevelled, slightly bloody Kravitz with a busted lip and a busted nose and, apparently, a busted sense of his usual shame, as he immediately dove into Magnus’s arms for a massive hug. 

 

Magnus was surprised but, being Magnus, only hesitated for half a second before embracing Kravitz so tightly it just about knocked the air out of him. Kravitz laughed, hysterically.

 

“Sorry, I’m just - so glad you’re okay, Magnus. How’s… ” Kravitz paused, letting go of Magnus and stepping back, looking nervous. “Is everyone… is everyone okay?” He looked down. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Magnus frowned. “Everyone’s okay, Kravitz.”   
  


“What?”

 

“I mean, Taako’s pretty beat up, and Merle lost an eye, but other than that.” Magnus shrugged. “Most of ‘em have had worse. Did you do something? No, don’t - you don’t have to answer that, it’s not your fault. Taako’s downstairs. He’s kind of out of it though, so I dunno what kinda conversation you’ll get out of him. I’m gonna go grab Lucretia and I’ll be right down,” he said, giving Kravitz a hearty pat on the shoulder and walking off.

 

Kravitz looked down the stairs, took a deep breath, and headed down.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter drove me insane i completely scrapped it n rewrote a bunch
> 
> anyway! nearing the end here! i'm thinking about making this a series n writing other fics in this universe,, anyone interested?


	20. Epilogue

Kravitz stood downstairs, surrounded by the unconscious bodies of his friends, and he had immense trouble not crying. Magnus said they were alive, but… 

 

Merle stepped up behind and rested his hand on Kravitz’s back, making him jump.

 

“They’re okay, kid. Taako’ll be glad to see you when he wakes up.”

 

“Is he-”   
  
“He’ll be fine.” Merle plopped down on the couch and patted the cushion next to him. “Have a seat.”

 

Kravitz perched awkwardly on the edge of the couch, utterly confused as to how Merle was so comfortable and casual right then, of all times.

 

“Taako really likes you, y’know.”

 

“What?”

 

“He’s really happy with you. And - thank God for that, if that kid didn’t find a good man eventually he’d’a probably just given up!” Merle chuckled. “You did yer best under some shitty-ass circumstances. You did yer best to save him, and me, and Magnus, and Julia and Lucretia and Angus,  _ especially _ Angus, an’ I don’t think there’s anything you can do to make that boy hate you, you hear me?”

 

“How did you-”

 

“I ain’t as stupid as Taako likes to tell people. I dunno exactly what happened over there, but I’m bettin’ they gave you a choice, and you chose the best option you could. You done good, buddy.” Merle gave Kravitz a decisive pat on the knee, and that was the end of that.

 

\----

 

When Taako woke up, he was in a car. Merle had decided that everyone’d been out for too long, so Kravitz and Magnus loaded everybody up into the Starblaster and Kravitz’s car and they set out for the hospital.

 

Taako blinked and yawned. He straightened up immediately, searching for Lup, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw her buckled in next to him. He took stock of his surroundings. Angus was on his other side, looking peaceful. Soft classical music was playing. In the front passenger seat seemed to be Barry, and- Kravitz, driving.

 

“Krav?” he croaked.

 

Kravitz swerved a tiny bit, surprised.

 

“You’re awake.”

 

“Naw, I’m sleep talking. You ok?”

 

“I’m fine, Taako.”

 

“Are we- are we safe?”

 

“You’re safe. Edward and Lydia were arrested. So were Jenkins, Maarvey, and Brian. Everyone’s okay. You probably fared the worst out of everyone.”

 

“Oh. Dunk.”

 

Kravitz laughed softly.

 

“Hey, Krav - why’d you keep saying you were sorry?”

 

From the back seat, Taako couldn’t see Kravitz’s hands tighten on the wheel, and the music covered the sound of his nervous gulp.

 

“... I think that’s a story for later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THATS THE END OF THIS ONE FOLKS  
> thank you all so so much for all the loving comments and for keeping up with this, it means a Lot  
> this isn't totally the end! i've already started on the next installation of this series. <3<3<3 love yall


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